As I sit here looking out my third floor apartment window I am reflecting on the misses and voids in my life. I feel so overwhelmed, not knowing where to start to try to remedy these feelings. I know I don’t necessarily need to fill the void, but just understand it and learn to coexist with it, maybe appreciate some of its beauty.
You see, I’ve been trying to fill voids in my life for years, usually material things made up my fillers. That new pair of shoes, those new jeans, that brand new throw pillow, yeah, those were all supposed to solve my shortcomings. Did they? No, they just tided me over until I found a new space to fill.
You know that feeling after Thanksgiving dinner, when Grandma brings out the pie and you have to find that small space left in your stomach for what you think is the best part of the meal, just so you don’t miss out? That’s what cramming yourself full of temporary void fillers is like. Eventually you feel so stuffed, you just need to take a nap. And then you start all over again, in time.
And just like you don’t need that second piece of pie to fill that extra inch of space in your stomach, you don’t need to fill every void in your life. There’s beauty in leaving some of them open. Some of them will be filled with time. Some of them will continue to be open space. And who knows, that open space may be the room you needed to just breathe.
